This was sent to me a while ago but it is even funnier now that I live in Salt Lake City.
Flaming Projectile Gerbil -- An actual article from the
LA Times
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake.
But I was only
trying to retrieve the Gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told
bemused doctors in
the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew (Kiki)
Farnom, had been
admitted for emergency treatment after a felching
session had gone
seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his
rectum and slipped
Raggot, our gerbil, in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki
shouted out
'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to
retrieve Raggot but
he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube
and struck a match,
thinking that the light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman
described what happened
next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas
and a flame shot out
of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and
severely burning his
face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and
whiskers which in turn
ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the
intestine, propelling the
rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered
second degree burns
and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while
Farnom suffered
first and second degree burns to his anus and lower
intestinal tract.
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Although, further research indicates that this is likely made up, it doesn't mean that it still isn't funny:
http://www.snopes.com/risque/homosex/gerbil.asp
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