Saturday, March 19, 2011

100 Greatest Books #100 - Black Beauty

The next book on my reading list is Black Beauty by Anna Sewell. You can find this book on the BBC Book List. This is the 100th overall book that I have read, but as I have mentioned before, since I am reading from four 100 Greatest Books Lists and one Top 10 Book List, there is a total of 306 books to read. So this segment will continue for a while. Also, I did want to finish 100 total books before I turned 30, and I did. I finished the book yesterday, while today is my 30th birthday :-).


I rather enjoyed this book. I thought it had an interesting perspective, which was looking at a horse's life through the eyes of the horse. It didn't have the ridiculous "animals talking" thing that a lot of books have, but I felt it was rather natural. The way a horse would act if you could get inside it's head. You saw his (Black Beauty's) life from the time of being a young colt through to his "retirement home" and all the things that went right and went wrong along the way. The author also showed other horses and people and how their lives changed and how that impacted Black Beauty's life. I also really liked how information was only gained by the reader through the horse, so the only way you knew how a conversation or event went was when they were in proximity of the horse so he could relay it to the reader. Very well done, but I feel it is a bit simplistic and better off as a children's book. Not really belonging on the 100 Greatest Books list, so I will leave it off of my Must Read List.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy Saint Patricks Day - Humor

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.

When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

"S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?"

"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"

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I've Lost Me Luggage

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.

"No," replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?"

"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.

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Water to Wine

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

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The Brothel

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street.

They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."

Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well."

Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying.

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Irish Cemetery 

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard..

"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died."!

Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"

"What was his name?" asks Paddy.

Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims,

"Miles, from Dublin."

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Irish Predicament 

Drunk Ole Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but Ole Mulvihill just sits there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

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Irish Last Request 

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father..."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun!'

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I AM A COLLEGE STUDENT... Humor

Ah college, some of these are still apt for me but some remind me of the good ole days. And yea for 100 posts on The Remnant...
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I am a college student. I have a specific shower stall which I refer to as "mine" and my feet will never touch the floor of it.

I am a college student. I try to rotate stalls in the bathroom so I can read all the material taped to the walls.

I am a MALE college student. I always have more than one condom on hand. Two in one night? Morning after? You never know.

I am a college student. I now fail to distinguish the difference in taste between water and beer.

I am a FEMALE college student. I own a bathrobe.

I am a college student. I didn't get my homework done because the kid I share a book with wasn't home last night to get it to me.

I am a college student. Drunken scrawlings on my message board or late night drunken IM's from friends across campus no longer perplex me.

I am a college student. Somebody keeps stealing my damn message board marker.

I am a college student. I pre-party in my room just so I will be drunk enough not to notice the sub-zero weather when I walk to the bar without a coat.

I am a college student. I pray for hotties in my classes so that I will have a reason to go to that class. However, I will never talk to any of these hotties.

I am a college student. I can no longer remember what was cooked in those dirty dishes.

I am a college student. I have seen more than one party turn into a strip show.

I am a college student. My telephone number only has 4 digits.

I am a college student. I have spent nights on the floor because I couldn't get up the ladder to my bed.

I am a college student. I see no problem fitting 2 people in one twin size bed.

I am a MALE college student. I know that a gentleman would let her have the side by the wall (it's a long way to the floor).

I am a college student. I will cross busy streets just to pick up what might be a quarter.

I am a college student. I want a girl/boyfriend who disappears from 9pm - 2am every Friday and Saturday night, reappearing undressed in bed with me when I get home.

I am a college student. Answering machine messages are a thing to be celebrated.

I am a college student. When I see movie trailers on TV, I say "I can't wait to RENT that."

I am a college student. Going "out to eat" no longer involves getting in a vehicle.

I am a college student. I don't know half of my professors' names.

I am a FEMALE college student. I use empty beer bottles for vases.

I am a college student. Christmas lights are a year-round decoration.

I am a college student. Laundry bags double as suitcases.

I am a FEMALE college student. I have worn my huge fuzzy slippers to the cafeteria at dinnertime.

I am a college student. Going to bed before 2:00 is almost unheard of.

I am a college student. If it doesn't look or smell dirty, even if it has been on the floor for 3 days, it can be worn again.

I am a college student. Nat Lite is a high class beer.

I am a college student. I am accustomed to asking "do you have a student discount?" wherever I go.

I am a college student. Going to early classes in my pajamas is fine.

I am a college student. Parties Wednesday through Saturday night are never hard to find.

I am a college student. To get extra money I sell my plasma, or my roommate's cd's.

I am a college student. I am a free loader.

I am a college student. 3am trips to Wal-Mart are normal, and I am used to being tossed out of Wal-Mart drunk in the wee hours of the morning.

I am a college student. The only times that I eat breakfast are when I am still up from partying the night before.

I am a college student. I am an easy target for cops.

I am a college student. I have cussed out the people on the floor above me for being too loud at 3am.

I am a college student. I seldom make my bed.

I am a college student. I use milk crates for furniture and blankets to cover my window.

I am a college student. I enjoy seeing mail in my mailbox.

I am a college student. I have been to a toga party.

I am a college student. I have fallen down on campus before.

I am a college student. I plead to not drive whenever a group of us go out just so I don't lose my parking spot.

I am a college student. I hate bike cops.

I am a college student. I am not afraid to pop-a-squat behind bushes/trees on campus while walking between parties.

I am a college student. My suitemates and roommate are my family.

I am a college student. I have discovered that there is no juice in jungle juice.

I am a college student. I have yet to find the nearest church.

I am a college student. I often walk in on my roommate masturbating.

I am a college student... and I love every bit of it!

I am a college student. Republicans strike fear into the very core of my heart.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

2011 Personal Goals - February Update

Two months in and all hell has broken loose:

1. Finish first draft of my novel -
January 1st - 1st third is done. The plan this year is to write it and read it to Annabelle and edit it as I go.
February 1st - Nothing new done
March 1st - Nothing new

2. Drop weight to 167
January 1st - 176.4. Starting off worse this year than last but I should have some more time to work out.
February 1st - 174.6
March 1st - 177.6 Damn stress

3. Balance our budget
January 1st - Things are looking up for this year with Veronica getting a new job (hopefully) after residency is complete.
February 1st - Working on it but large expenses due to medical stuff not helping.
March 1st - Getting worse but tax refund should put us back to where we were at the beginning of the year.

4a. Read a total of 100 of the greatest books on my lists by my 30th birthday
January 1st - Current count 97. Only 3 to read by March 19th. This was the initial goal last year but I hoped to have them done earlier.
February 1st - Currently reading Lolita.
March 1st - Finished Lolita and The Colour of Magic. Only 1 to go before March 19th

4b. Read 2 of the Top Ten books on Zanes book list
January 1st - I currently have 6 read. I figured I should be able to finish 2 of the 4 since 2 of them are very very long.
February 1st - The book I'm currently reading, Lolita, is on the list.
March 1st - Finished Lolita. One to go.

5a. Finish 2 more movies on my Geological Movie Review
January 1st - Look to start 2 new movies again
February 1st - Nothing new.
March 1st - Nothing new.

5b. Update the 1 Geologic Movie Review that was previously done and not updated
January 1st - 2 out of 3 up to par
February 1st - Nothing new
March 1st - Nothing new

6. Watch all of the 100 Greatest Movies of All Time (according to AFI)
January 1st - Current count 69. 31 left to go.
February 1st - Nothing new
March 1st - Nothing new

7. Finish bottom of hovercraft.
January 1st - I just need to finish epoxying and smoothing out the bottom then paint it. Not too much work but time is an issue.
February 1st - Haven't had time to work on it
March 1st - Nothing new

8. Do 1 Geological Fact for each month.
January 1st - That is a total of 12 for the year. Hopefully I can get them set up ahead of time.
February 1st - 1 done for January, 11 to go.
March 1st - 1 done for February, 10 to go.

Other items of interest:
Busy month so far. Annabelle had eye surgery at the beginning of the month and she is doing great. And also she doesn't need a shunt (at least yet) so that is good news all around. I have also started taking my PhD Qualifying exams. So far I have 2 done, with 3 written and 1 oral to go.