I AM A COLLEGE STUDENT... Humor

Ah college, some of these are still apt for me but some remind me of the good ole days. And yea for 100 posts on The Remnant...
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I am a college student. I have a specific shower stall which I refer to as "mine" and my feet will never touch the floor of it.

I am a college student. I try to rotate stalls in the bathroom so I can read all the material taped to the walls.

I am a MALE college student. I always have more than one condom on hand. Two in one night? Morning after? You never know.

I am a college student. I now fail to distinguish the difference in taste between water and beer.

I am a FEMALE college student. I own a bathrobe.

I am a college student. I didn't get my homework done because the kid I share a book with wasn't home last night to get it to me.

I am a college student. Drunken scrawlings on my message board or late night drunken IM's from friends across campus no longer perplex me.

I am a college student. Somebody keeps stealing my damn message board marker.

I am a college student. I pre-party in my room just so I will be drunk enough not to notice the sub-zero weather when I walk to the bar without a coat.

I am a college student. I pray for hotties in my classes so that I will have a reason to go to that class. However, I will never talk to any of these hotties.

I am a college student. I can no longer remember what was cooked in those dirty dishes.

I am a college student. I have seen more than one party turn into a strip show.

I am a college student. My telephone number only has 4 digits.

I am a college student. I have spent nights on the floor because I couldn't get up the ladder to my bed.

I am a college student. I see no problem fitting 2 people in one twin size bed.

I am a MALE college student. I know that a gentleman would let her have the side by the wall (it's a long way to the floor).

I am a college student. I will cross busy streets just to pick up what might be a quarter.

I am a college student. I want a girl/boyfriend who disappears from 9pm - 2am every Friday and Saturday night, reappearing undressed in bed with me when I get home.

I am a college student. Answering machine messages are a thing to be celebrated.

I am a college student. When I see movie trailers on TV, I say "I can't wait to RENT that."

I am a college student. Going "out to eat" no longer involves getting in a vehicle.

I am a college student. I don't know half of my professors' names.

I am a FEMALE college student. I use empty beer bottles for vases.

I am a college student. Christmas lights are a year-round decoration.

I am a college student. Laundry bags double as suitcases.

I am a FEMALE college student. I have worn my huge fuzzy slippers to the cafeteria at dinnertime.

I am a college student. Going to bed before 2:00 is almost unheard of.

I am a college student. If it doesn't look or smell dirty, even if it has been on the floor for 3 days, it can be worn again.

I am a college student. Nat Lite is a high class beer.

I am a college student. I am accustomed to asking "do you have a student discount?" wherever I go.

I am a college student. Going to early classes in my pajamas is fine.

I am a college student. Parties Wednesday through Saturday night are never hard to find.

I am a college student. To get extra money I sell my plasma, or my roommate's cd's.

I am a college student. I am a free loader.

I am a college student. 3am trips to Wal-Mart are normal, and I am used to being tossed out of Wal-Mart drunk in the wee hours of the morning.

I am a college student. The only times that I eat breakfast are when I am still up from partying the night before.

I am a college student. I am an easy target for cops.

I am a college student. I have cussed out the people on the floor above me for being too loud at 3am.

I am a college student. I seldom make my bed.

I am a college student. I use milk crates for furniture and blankets to cover my window.

I am a college student. I enjoy seeing mail in my mailbox.

I am a college student. I have been to a toga party.

I am a college student. I have fallen down on campus before.

I am a college student. I plead to not drive whenever a group of us go out just so I don't lose my parking spot.

I am a college student. I hate bike cops.

I am a college student. I am not afraid to pop-a-squat behind bushes/trees on campus while walking between parties.

I am a college student. My suitemates and roommate are my family.

I am a college student. I have discovered that there is no juice in jungle juice.

I am a college student. I have yet to find the nearest church.

I am a college student. I often walk in on my roommate masturbating.

I am a college student... and I love every bit of it!

I am a college student. Republicans strike fear into the very core of my heart.