Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Parking Humor

This one sent to me by my sister a while ago:

PARKING TICKET


I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse s**t. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Skiing Humor

Well, cleaning out my emails has found some old jokes. So I figured I would go ahead and publish them as I see fit.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of
exercises to get you prepared:

16. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-
in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50
dollar bills to warm up.

15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after
every use.

14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of
your head before you go to bed each night.

13. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared
on the lenses.

12. Throw away a hundred dollar bill-now.

11. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20
times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory
bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.
Sporadically drop things.

10. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them
with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your
toes.

9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.

8. Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to
run into you at high speed.

7. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a
hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.

6. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a
motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

5. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's
in a snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler.

4. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the
spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it
melts. Let it drip into your clothes.

3. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to
take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.

2. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.

1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until
it's time for the real thing!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The 306 Greatest Books #97 - Holes

The next up on my reading of the 306 greatest books is Holes by Louis Sachar. This book can be found on the BBC and My Book Lists.



I had a preconceived notion about this book because I saw the movie a few years ago and rather enjoyed it, making me feel like I would enjoy the book as well, and I was right. The movie followed the book rather closely, but it still had been long enough since I saw the movie that not everything was as obvious to me while I was reading through the book. The story is well paced, often bouncing back and forth between the past and the "current time", always making it clear what time you were in. My favorite thing about the book is that there wasn't one wasted part of the story. Anything mentioned in the historical context actually came back up in the present context, even when you wouldn't have thought of it. Overall, I would list this as one of my must reads because not only is it a fun story, I feel it was very well written and actually displays a very good moral lesson.   

Monday, December 20, 2010

Graco = Freaking Awesome

Well everyone has done it. Tried to deal with one of these freaking companies who doesn't give a crap but likes to pretend that they do. Well I was all started for another fight when I sent an email to Graco about a baby swing we bought/received as a baby shower gift for Annabelle because it stopped working right. Well I looked up all the specks and made sure the batteries were charged because you know that is the first question then went to the website and sent them an email.

My swing started recently to not swing when my baby is in it. It makes the noise like it is swinging and then swings when I take her out of it. I replaced the batteries to no avail. She is less than 19 lbs, so she is easily in the weight limit. I was wondering what the warranty on this item is.
Well then they sent me a message the next day, and to my surprise it was this:

Jim,

We are sorry to hear of the problem with the product. We will be happy to assist you with this. The motor unit is replaceable and we have ordered it for you. Please, allow 10 business days for delivery.
Wait, what? Nothing extra, no charge, no hastle. Just that? Not even a second email (they took my address on the initial order form). This is too good to be true.

So I waited and a week later and they sent the motor. Veronica and I worried that it would take quite a bit of work to take the motor housing apart and input a new motor, but whatever it was easy so far, so this isn't that big a deal. But what do they send but the whole freaking motor housing. It took me about 4 minutes to pop the old one off and put the new one on. I mean really, this company is awesome and I actually did have an A+ customer service. Way to go.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

2010 Personal Goals - December Update

11 months in, almost over.

1. Finish first draft of my novel -
January 1st - 1st third done
February 1st - Nothing new
March 1st - Nothing
April 1st - Nothing
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing
August 1st - I actually did start working on this. Reread over part of section 1
September 1st - Nothing new
October 1st - Nothing New
November 1st - Nothing new
December 1st - Nothing

2. Drop weight to 167
January 1st - 175.0
February 1st - 176.0
March 1st - 176.0
April 1st - 176.6
May 1st - 176.6
June 1st - 169.2 - Apparently walking around with Gummy Bear non-stop is a good weight loss plan.
July 1st - 170.0
August 1st - 170.2
September 1st - 172.2
October 1st - 173.4
November 1st - 174.2
December 1st - 175.8


3. Balance our budget
January 1st - Things are looking up for this year
February 1st - Working over the winter break helped, a $1700 car repair bill did not

March 1st - Going the wrong way, another car bill as well as a new carpet and apparently I owe on my taxes, great.
April 1st - Working out those extra expenses a little bit at a time
May 1st - Still working it out
June 1st - Getting closer
July 1st - Bah
August 1st - Still bah
September 1st - Still bah
October 1st - Since the desktop went on the fritz I have been keeping a close eye on this
November 1st - Yea, prolly not going to happen this year :-(
December 1st - Well, not getting worse


a. Pay credit card
January 1st - Only one card left
February 1st - Still one card left
March 1st - Still on to go
April 1st - Still working on the one
May 1st - One
June 1st - One
July 1st - One to go but I made a large payment on it last month
August 1st - One
September 1st - One
October 1st - One
November 1st - One
December 1st - PAID OFF!!!!


4. Read a total of 100 of the greatest books on my lists
January 1st - Current count 86
February 1st - In the middle of Canterbury Tales
March 1st - Took a break from Canterbury Tales, time to get back
April 1st - Finished Canterbury Tales. 13 left to go. Reading Madame Bovary now
May 1st - Finished Madame Bovary. 12 left to go. Reading The Maltese Falcon now
June 1st - Finished The Maltese Falcon and The Twits. 10 left to go. Reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory now
July 1st - Finished Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 9 left to go. Not sure what to read next, I have a couple of choices lined up.
August 1st - Finished Matilda. 8 left to go.
September 1st - Finished Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Charlotte's Web. 6 left to go.
October 1st - Finished The Secret Garden. 5 left to go.
November 1st - No time to finish a book, still 5 to go.
December 1st - Finished The Wind in the Willows. 4 to go.


5. Finish 2 more movies on my Geological Movie Review
January 1st - Look to start 2 new movies
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st -Nothing
July 1st - Started working on Earthquake!
August 1st - In the middle of one
September 1st - Nothing new
October 1st - Nothing new
November 1st - Nothing
December 1st - Nothing


a. Also update the last two I did
January 1st - One out of 3 up to par
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing
August 1st - Got the first 2 parts of Armageddon out
September 1st - Finished Armageddon. 1 left to do.
October 1st - Nothing New
November 1st - Nothing
December 1st - Nothing

Other items of interest:
School is taking up the majority of my free time, and I am currently just trying to finish up the semester. On a lighter note Annabelle's first Thanksgiving was great.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The 306 Greatest Books #96 - The Wind in the Willows

The next up on my reading of the 306 greatest books is The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame. This book can be found on the BBC and Observer Book Lists.



This is not what I was expecting when I started it. At first I was expecting a kiddy story about a bunch of animals. Well, there was a bunch of animals, but it definitely was not kiddy. The story was very well written, not shying away from the larger, more adult, words when appropriate. The story at times seemed to be about random misadventures of a group of animals, but through the story you can grasp a common thread going through four of them. My main problem with the story is that I felt unfulfilled afterwards. A character like Mole really grew from the beginning of the story, where he was rather naive, to the end, where he was able to stand up for himself and help lead a revolt. Although, a counterpoint to that is the character of Toad, who did not grow at all and actually seemed to devolve through the progress of the story. All through the story I was waiting for him to get his just desserts in the end, however it never came. Even his supposed humbling at the end seemed fake; like he didn't actually feel any remorse over what he had done. So in regards to the Toad story arc, I can't really recommend this book because it was a real disappointment when all was said and done.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Posting for my friend

My friend asked me to pass this along from her blog:

Here's the Deal:


I need your help!

Okay all 4 people who read this, I need help! I submitted an entry to a contest through The Canyons. Have you heard of it? It's good, look it up.

I submitted quite late so I have little time to get votes. That's where you come in. Please go to the link and find my video titled "Adventure Everyday"--you'll see my face too, and vote and view! (It's important to do both.)

http://howdoyoumountain.com/your-mountain/6

You might have to navigate a bit if the order changes...

Share on Facebook, email, whatever! I need votes quick. Send to your contact list, ask your students to vote, beg strangers.

If I win, you can come stay in my suite at the Waldorf Astoria...

Kimberlee
 
Look for this picture:
 
Everyday Adventure

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

100 Greatest Romance Movies - #50: Shakespeare in Love

This is my entry for the 50th Greatest Romance Movie - Shakespeare in Love. You can check this movie out along with all the other 100 Greatest Romances over at my website.


This is actually a very sweet movie that follows the (fictional?) writing of Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare. I think the plot line was very well done, interspersing lines from Romeo and Juliet into the the actual movie as inspiration for the play itself. You would think that something like that would feel forced but I think they pulled it off rather well. The movie also has humor interspersed throughout the movie but not too much that it would be considered a comedy. All in all I think a must watch if you are in the mood for a nice romantic movie.

Monday, November 22, 2010

2010 Personal Updates - November Edition

10 months in, quite a bit late this time.

1. Finish first draft of my novel -
January 1st - 1st third done
February 1st - Nothing new
March 1st - Nothing
April 1st - Nothing
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing
August 1st - I actually did start working on this. Reread over part of section 1
September 1st - Nothing new
October 1st - Nothing New
November 1st - Nothing new

2. Drop weight to 167
January 1st - 175.0
February 1st - 176.0
March 1st - 176.0
April 1st - 176.6
May 1st - 176.6
June 1st - 169.2 - Apparently walking around with Gummy Bear non-stop is a good weight loss plan.
July 1st - 170.0
August 1st - 170.2
September 1st - 172.2
October 1st - 173.4
November 1st - 174.2


3. Balance our budget
January 1st - Things are looking up for this year
February 1st - Working over the winter break helped, a $1700 car repair bill did not

March 1st - Going the wrong way, another car bill as well as a new carpet and apparently I owe on my taxes, great.
April 1st - Working out those extra expenses a little bit at a time
May 1st - Still working it out
June 1st - Getting closer
July 1st - Bah
August 1st - Still bah
September 1st - Still bah
October 1st - Since the desktop went on the fritz I have been keeping a close eye on this
November 1st - Yea, prolly not going to happen this year :-(


a. Pay credit card
January 1st - Only one card left
February 1st - Still one card left
March 1st - Still on to go
April 1st - Still working on the one
May 1st - One
June 1st - One
July 1st - One to go but I made a large payment on it last month
August 1st - One
September 1st - One
October 1st - One
November 1st - One


4. Read a total of 100 of the greatest books on my lists
January 1st - Current count 86
February 1st - In the middle of Canterbury Tales
March 1st - Took a break from Canterbury Tales, time to get back
April 1st - Finished Canterbury Tales. 13 left to go. Reading Madame Bovary now
May 1st - Finished Madame Bovary. 12 left to go. Reading The Maltese Falcon now
June 1st - Finished The Maltese Falcon and The Twits. 10 left to go. Reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory now
July 1st - Finished Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 9 left to go. Not sure what to read next, I have a couple of choices lined up.
August 1st - Finished Matilda. 8 left to go.
September 1st - Finished Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Charlotte's Web. 6 left to go.
October 1st - Finished The Secret Garden. 5 left to go.
November 1st - No time to finish a book, still 5 to go.


5. Finish 2 more movies on my Geological Movie Review
January 1st - Look to start 2 new movies
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st -Nothing
July 1st - Started working on Earthquake!
August 1st - In the middle of one
September 1st - Nothing new
October 1st - Nothing new
November 1st - Nothing


a. Also update the last two I did
January 1st - One out of 3 up to par
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing
August 1st - Got the first 2 parts of Armageddon out
September 1st - Finished Armadeddon. 1 left to do.
October 1st - Nothing New
November 1st - Nothing

Other items of interest:
Other than school and Halloween there has nothing of interest to report. Hopefully once this semester is over I will have more time for my research as well as other things.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

100 Greatest Comedies #24 - Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Something that I have been also working on and will soon pick back up starting next year is watching the 100 Greatest Movies as well as some of the lesser categories like the 100 Greatest Romances, Comedies, and Thrillers. Well this entry is for my 24th movie on the 100 Greatest Comedies list - Fast Times at Ridgemont High.


This is similar in vein to American Pie for my generation. Basically it is a comedy about the sexual tensions of people in high school. I felt before I watched the movie that it would be very dated but I was pleasantly surprised to learn that it still holds up very well in the modern day. I had hoped that I would be laughing out loud for the majority of the movie and even though I did have a couple of good laughs, for the most part is was a consistently amusing movie but not really a gut bursting movie. Still, it is a good movie.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

2010 Personal Updates - October Update

9 months in, 3/4 of the way done.

1. Finish first draft of my novel -
January 1st - 1st third done
February 1st - Nothing new
March 1st - Nothing
April 1st - Nothing
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing
August 1st - I actually did start working on this. Reread over part of section 1
September 1st - Nothing new
October 1st - Nothing New

2. Drop weight to 167
January 1st - 175.0
February 1st - 176.0
March 1st - 176.0
April 1st - 176.6
May 1st - 176.6
June 1st - 169.2 - Apparently walking around with Gummy Bear non-stop is a good weight loss plan.
July 1st - 170.0
August 1st - 170.2
September 1st - 172.2
October 1st - 173.4


3. Balance our budget
January 1st - Things are looking up for this year
February 1st - Working over the winter break helped, a $1700 car repair bill did not

March 1st - Going the wrong way, another car bill as well as a new carpet and apparently I owe on my taxes, great.
April 1st - Working out those extra expenses a little bit at a time
May 1st - Still working it out
June 1st - Getting closer
July 1st - Bah
August 1st - Still bah
September 1st - Still bah
October 1st - Since the desktop went on the fritz I have been keeping a close eye on this


a. Pay credit card
January 1st - Only one card left
February 1st - Still one card left
March 1st - Still on to go
April 1st - Still working on the one
May 1st - One
June 1st - One
July 1st - One to go but I made a large payment on it last month
August 1st - One
September 1st - One
October 1st - One


4. Read a total of 100 of the greatest books on my lists
January 1st - Current count 86
February 1st - In the middle of Canterbury Tales
March 1st - Took a break from Canterbury Tales, time to get back
April 1st - Finished Canterbury Tales. 13 left to go. Reading Madame Bovary now
May 1st - Finished Madame Bovary. 12 left to go. Reading The Maltese Falcon now
June 1st - Finished The Maltese Falcon and The Twits. 10 left to go. Reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory now
July 1st - Finished Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 9 left to go. Not sure what to read next, I have a couple of choices lined up.
August 1st - Finished Matilda. 8 left to go.
September 1st - Finished Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Charlotte's Web. 6 left to go.
October 1st - Finished The Secret Garden. 5 left to go.


5. Finish 2 more movies on my Geological Movie Review
January 1st - Look to start 2 new movies
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st -Nothing
July 1st - Started working on Earthquake!
August 1st - In the middle of one
September 1st - Nothing new
October 1st - Nothing new


a. Also update the last two I did
January 1st - One out of 3 up to par
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing
August 1st - Got the first 2 parts of Armageddon out
September 1st - Finished Armadeddon. 1 left to do.
October 1st - Nothing New

Other items of interest:
Things are still very hectic around here with school starting up and having to take care of a 4-5 month old. So things on my personal list have taken a sort of back seat except for the readings which anthing on this list are books I have read to Annabelle.

Friday, October 8, 2010

The 306 Greatest Books #95 - The Secret Garden

The next up on my reading of the 306 greatest books is The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. This book can be found on the BBC and My Book Lists.



For a children's book, this was not what I was expecting. I was expecting more of the same from what I have read in my daughter's other books including some of the ones on this list. However, The Secret Garden was actually very good. The lessons that the story espouses we remarkably poignant, demonstrating that children are not a product of their birth, but more a product of their upbringing. And that children who seem completely lost to the point that nobody could care for them, somebody still might and bring that child back from the brink, resulting in a normal, happy, and fulfilling childhood. I would have to recommend this to any parent and child as a lesson in how to view life. Although the parts about the "magic" did seem a bit too preachy for my taste, it was not over-the-top.

Friday, September 3, 2010

2010 Personal Goals - September Update

8 months in

1. Finish first draft of my novel -
January 1st - 1st third done
February 1st - Nothing new
March 1st - Nothing
April 1st - Nothing
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing
August 1st - I actually did start working on this. Reread over part of section 1
September 1st - Nothing new

2. Drop weight to 167
January 1st - 175.0
February 1st - 176.0
March 1st - 176.0
April 1st - 176.6
May 1st - 176.6
June 1st - 169.2 - Apparently walking around with Gummy Bear non-stop is a good weight loss plan.
July 1st - 170.0
August 1st - 170.2
September 1st - 172.2


3. Balance our budget
January 1st - Things are looking up for this year
February 1st - Working over the winter break helped, a $1700 car repair bill did not

March 1st - Going the wrong way, another car bill as well as a new carpet and apparently I owe on my taxes, great.
April 1st - Working out those extra expenses a little bit at a time
May 1st - Still working it out
June 1st - Getting closer
July 1st - Bah
August 1st - Still bah
September 1st - Still bah


a. Pay credit card
January 1st - Only one card left
February 1st - Still one card left
March 1st - Still on to go
April 1st - Still working on the one
May 1st - One
June 1st - One
July 1st - One to go but I made a large payment on it last month
August 1st - One
September 1st - One


4. Read a total of 100 of the greatest books on my lists
January 1st - Current count 86
February 1st - In the middle of Canterbury Tales
March 1st - Took a break from Canterbury Tales, time to get back
April 1st - Finished Canterbury Tales. 13 left to go. Reading Madame Bovary now
May 1st - Finished Madame Bovary. 12 left to go. Reading The Maltese Falcon now
June 1st - Finished The Maltese Falcon and The Twits. 10 left to go. Reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory now
July 1st - Finished Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 9 left to go. Not sure what to read next, I have a couple of choices lined up.
August 1st - Finished Matilda. 8 left to go.
September 1st - Finished Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Charlotte's Web. 6 left to go.


5. Finish 2 more movies on my Geological Movie Review
January 1st - Look to start 2 new movies
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st -Nothing
July 1st - Started working on Earthquake!
August 1st - In the middle of one
September 1st - Nothing new


a. Also update the last two I did
January 1st - One out of 3 up to par
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing
August 1st - Got the first 2 parts of Armageddon out
September 1st - Finished Armadeddon. 1 left to do.

Other items of interest:
August was spent spending time with my daughter for 2 weeks then starting my second year of my PhD. So far things are a bit hectic with Annabelle starting day care but they are starting to settle down.

Monday, August 16, 2010

The 306 Greatest Books #94 - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

The next up on my reading of the 306 greatest books is Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. This book can be found on the BBC, Observerand My Book Lists.



In one word, this book was "bizarre". This is the first time I have read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, but I have seen both the Disney and Tim Burton versions, and both of them made more sense than this book. As my friend put it, that must have been some good opium he was on when he wrote this. The story jumps around randomly and it goes from one situation seemingly into an entirely different situation with no rhyme or reason to why. But when you think about it, it makes sense. This is a story about a dream. But it is also a story as described by a child. So you have a dream where things have a habit of just happening in the words of a child who often will jump around and make up things that don't really make any sense, all woven into this magical land where nothing makes sense and things just happen. Although I was greatly dumbstruck at first, the story began to grow on me. Nothing really happened in the story by the end but aren't most dreams like that. At one point, you just wake up. The book is very well written. It just flowed as I read it, with each sentence and each section flowing into the next. Although you knew the situations didn't fit together the narrative was never jarring between different parts. The sentences weren't choppy and it made for a rather enjoyable read to see what would happen next. So I will place this on my to read list, mostly due to the fun that reading the book could instill on a child or an adult who wonders what it is like to think like a child.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

My Conversation with a Jackass

Well yesterday my mother's email and Facebook account were hacked. Luckily, before I even knew about it, my father-in-law noticed and sent us a text message, which I immediately relayed to my mother and since then the situation has been resolved. But in the meantime it seems her email account not only was hacked but appeared to be hijacked. I emailed the guy back and forth a couple of times just to see where this would go, but it was a rather interesting conversation to say the least. Here is the first message that everyone got from her:


Sorry I didn't inform you about my trip. I came down here to England for a short fun vacation. unfortunately,i was mugged at a gun point on my way to the hotel where i stayed,all cash and credit card were stolen off me but luckily i still have my passports with me. I've been to the Embassy and the Police here but they're not helping issues at all they told me to wait for 2weeks before anything can be done to help and my return flight leaves in few hour time from now but am having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let me leave until i settle my bills. Well I really need your financially assistance..Let me know if you can help me out? Am freakin' out at the moment!!


Awaiting your reply.

This email included her name and normal email signature that all her emails go out with, including all of her business information, making the email sound somewhat legit. Knowing very well my mother was not in England and would never send out a message of this sorts (unless there were a few martinis beforehand) I sent this as a reply.

What do you need me to do?

Simple and straightforward. I just wanted to see what their reply would be. It came about an hour later.

All i need is just $2,000 USD. I promise i'll pay you back immediately i get back home please let me know if you can help me out. Am freakin' out at the moment!!


Awaiting your reply.

Again, complete with her email signature. At this point I just felt like messing with them to see how far I could take this.

Why is your grammar so bad? I would expect better from you.

I stripped all of my information that is in my normal emails, like my web address, because I didn't know how much information these people already knew. I doubt very much that they even knew my relation to the person whose email they hacked. The next email was sent again about an hour later.

Jim are you kidding me ? if this not me i wont ask you to help just let me know if you can help .


Awaiting your reply.

Your joking, right? Morons. I sent one final email message still testing them.

You are acting highly irregular. Your grammar is still atrocious and you never call me Jim. What is going on with you?

But I never heard back from them. From what I found out, my mother contacted Microsoft and reclaimed possession of her account so it was likely that they lost the account before they could send a response. This was also useful because they kept reactivating my mothers Facebook page when they would email me back so I could let her know what was going on. All in all, a stressful day for her, but I kept myself moderately amused by the situation.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

2010 Personal Goals - August Update

7 months in

1. Finish first draft of my novel -
January 1st - 1st third done
February 1st - Nothing new
March 1st - Nothing
April 1st - Nothing
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing
August 1st - I actually did start working on this. Reread over part of section 1.

2. Drop weight to 167
January 1st - 175.0
February 1st - 176.0
March 1st - 176.0
April 1st - 176.6
May 1st - 176.6
June 1st - 169.2 - Apparently walking around with Gummy Bear non-stop is a good weight loss plan.
July 1st - 170.0
August 1st - 170.2

3. Balance our budget
January 1st - Things are looking up for this year
February 1st - Working over the winter break helped, a $1700 car repair bill did not

March 1st - Going the wrong way, another car bill as well as a new carpet and apparently I owe on my taxes, great.
April 1st - Working out those extra expenses a little bit at a time
May 1st - Still working it out
June 1st - Getting closer
July 1st - Bah
August 1st - Still bah

a. Pay credit card
January 1st - Only one card left
February 1st - Still one card left
March 1st - Still on to go
April 1st - Still working on the one
May 1st - One
June 1st - One
July 1st - One to go but I made a large payment on it last month
August 1st - One

4. Read a total of 100 of the greatest books on my lists
January 1st - Current count 86
February 1st - In the middle of Canterbury Tales
March 1st - Took a break from Canterbury Tales, time to get back
April 1st - Finished Canterbury Tales. 13 left to go. Reading Madame Bovary now
May 1st - Finished Madame Bovary. 12 left to go. Reading The Maltese Falcon now
June 1st - Finished The Maltese Falcon and The Twits. 10 left to go. Reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory now
July 1st - Finished Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 9 left to go. Not sure what to read next, I have a couple of choices lined up.
August 1st - Finished Matilda. 8 left to go.

5. Finish 2 more movies on my Geological Movie Review
January 1st - Look to start 2 new movies
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st -Nothing
July 1st - Started working on Earthquake!
August 1st - In the middle of one

a. Also update the last two I did
January 1st - One out of 3 up to par
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing
August 1st - Got the first 2 parts of Armageddon out

Other items of interest:
I finished the first class I ever taught and I think things went over pretty well. Other than not not much. Spent most of my free time at home with Annabelle. So for the next couple of weeks I will be a stay at home dad until school starts up again at the end of August.

The 306 Greatest Books #93 - Charlotte's Web

The next up on my reading of the 306 greatest books is Charlotte's Web by E. B. WhiteThis book can be found on the Observer Book list.



This story goes way back for me. I remember growing up and watching the cartoon but I don't believe I ever read the book outright. I read it this time with my daughter and I realized that I would prefer to stick with the cartoon. The sentence structure is often very difficult to read and, I don't know about other books, but reading this out-loud I noticed a ton of "said so and so" after someone said something. This type of writing can get rather tiring after a while and really destroys the flow of a good book. Also, this book reminded me of why I like the Dahl books; it was because of the language. Dahl has a habit of using large words in context, words that you wouldn't usually find in a children's book. In Charlotte's Web, White also uses some large words but it is immediately followed by "I don't know what that means, what does that mean?". That is great for teaching children new words, but I prefer the other method. If you use the word in context well enough, you don't have to explain the meaning. So all in all, it is a touching story, and I did tear up a little at the end, but I wouldn't really recommend this to other people to read.

Friday, July 23, 2010

My tattoo is...Star Wars?

So, ever since I got my first tattoo in 2003, there were three main tattoo's I wanted to get. The first was the one I got then, which is a Gaelic knot for completeness. The second one I got today. It is a Star Wars tattoo but little known one that most "non-nerds" wouldn't get. Which is the way I wanted it. The original image is termed a Mandalorian Death Head, coined by Jeremy Bullock who is the person who played Boba Fett in the Original Trilogy. On the picture below you can it on Boba Fett's sleeve (from the trailer for The Force Unleashed 2).





I then took a copy of that image from StarWars.com and traced it so it was a pure image.




After that I wanted it to be unique so I thought flames coming out of the eyes would be cool.



I then took this to the tattoo place (Doc Holliday's in SLC). When I gave it to him I told him that I wanted this but with cool looking flames and he said "Oh, I can play around with this?." "Um, sure" I responded. I figured he knows best. So I get there on tattoo day and he has a few skulls drawn up and I decided on the one that looks mostly like the originally just more skull like and larger flames. We just weren't sure of the colors and he asked if he could play a little. So I let him do his thing and I think it turned out awesome. He actually also gave me a discount because I got interrupted a few times as well. I recommend anyone to go here if the are in the SLC area.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The 306 Greatest Books #92 - Matilda

The next up on my reading of the 306 greatest books is Matilda by Roald DahlThis book can be found on the BBC and My Book Lists.



I rather enjoyed Matilda a lot (my daughter and and I both did). I found this to the best of the Dahl books that were on my list. The story was nice and linear, as opposed to several of his other books which seemed to be more disjointed. The characters were also some of his best and actually made you care about what happened to some of them, which is one sign of a good book. I loved how the story tied up very neatly at the end and how aspects of people's personalities came back in a rather surprising (at least to me) way. The story is about an extremely intelligent 4-5 year-old girl named Matilda. However, she happens to live in a house where her parents don't think anything is possible out of the girl and her school's headmistress hates children. So life kind of sucks for her. But she does have a teacher who goes to bat for her and in return Matilda not only helps the teacher out of a bad situation but helps herself as well. The morals of the story are great and at many points in the book I actually got rather upset at several of the characters. Another great thing about this book, and most of Dahl's works, are the use of larger words. Words you wouldn't typically find in children's books. He uses them in such a way that they fit into the context of the story and the person is able to understand the meaning of the words, just by the context. Matilda is another Dahl book I will add onto my personal Greatest Books list, and actually I think it should be ranked higher than Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Does this mean I'm a real dad now?

So my wife told me my adventures yesterday constituted a real dad story so I figured I would convey them here.

Well Annabelle had gotten her two month shots and was a bit cranky and she wasn't sleeping all that well. But Veronica was at work and we needed to hit the store. So I fed her, waited for her to fall asleep, then off we went. Well if you remember a previous post my AC was not working. I had since gotten it to work on the 1 or 2 fan speed. So we headed out and had the AC on fan speed 2 as we were driving into the city. Well about half way (15 minutes in) the AC died again. Also the sun was in her face no matter what direction the road turned, which caused me to roll down the windows to get a breeze. But it was 98 degrees out so not much good that did. And I was afraid of her over heating so I would constantly look and feel back at her but since the sun was in her face I had to put up the sun shade which meant I couldn't see her either when I turned around or when I looked in her mirror. This meant I was driving down the highway constantly moving her sunshade to look and make sure she was alright and not overheating. I would occasionally move her hand to make sure I got a reaction out of her as well.

We finally arrived at Target, our destination. Which I didn't want to leave. And being so frazzled when we entered, I packed her into her stroller instead of a shopping car. So I'm the only one pushing a stroller around the store, piling things up on the front of the stroller. I also didn't want to get back in the car and drive back since it was so hot. But I figured the best way to help her. I would buy a container of Ben and Jerry's, wrap it in a blanket, and rest it on her. Well, after we left the store, this is what I did. Luckily it had cooled down to a chilly 96 degrees and the sun was no longer in her face at every turn.

She slept all through this, even me constantly checking to make sure she was still ok and not having heat stroke. Until just when we get home she wakes up and starts crying for some food, either that or pissed because her leg was cold due to the ice cream.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

2010 Personal Goals - July Update

6 months in, 1/2 way done with the year.

1. Finish first draft of my novel -
January 1st - 1st third done
February 1st - Nothing new
March 1st - Nothing
April 1st - Nothing
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing

2. Drop weight to 167
January 1st - 175.0
February 1st - 176.0
March 1st - 176.0
April 1st - 176.6
May 1st - 176.6
June 1st - 169.2 - Apparently walking around with Gummy Bear non-stop is a good weight loss plan.
July 1st - 170.0

3. Balance our budget
January 1st - Things are looking up for this year
February 1st - Working over the winter break helped, a $1700 car repair bill did not

March 1st - Going the wrong way, another car bill as well as a new carpet and apparently I owe on my taxes, great.
April 1st - Working out those extra expenses a little bit at a time
May 1st - Still working it out
June 1st - Getting closer
July 1st - Bah

a. Pay credit card
January 1st - Only one card left
February 1st - Still one card left
March 1st - Still on to go
April 1st - Still working on the one
May 1st - One
June 1st - One
July 1st - One to go but I made a large payment on it last month

4. Read a total of 100 of the greatest books on my lists
January 1st - Current count 86
February 1st - In the middle of Canterbury Tales
March 1st - Took a break from Canterbury Tales, time to get back
April 1st - Finished Canterbury Tales. 13 left to go. Reading Madame Bovary now
May 1st - Finished Madame Bovary. 12 left to go. Reading The Maltese Falcon now
June 1st - Finished The Maltese Falcon and The Twits. 10 left to go. Reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory now
July 1st - Finished Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 9 left to go. Not sure what to read next, I have a couple of choices lined up.

5. Finish 2 more movies on my Geological Movie Review
January 1st - Look to start 2 new movies
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st -Nothing
July 1st - Started working on Earthquake!

a. Also update the last two I did
January 1st - One out of 3 up to par
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing
July 1st - Nothing

Other items of interest:
Made our first family trip up to Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons last month. That was rather stressfull but also a lot of fun. Don't recommend making long car rides with an 8 week old though. Working 2 jobs is rather stressfull as well but I am getting it done. Haven't been working at URS as much as I, or I bet they, like but hopefully I can get more done this month from home. And still chugging away at Earthquakes and Volcanoes. Down to the second half now. With Veronica back at work and me home more, maybe I will have more time to get my little projects done.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Chrysler's Car Repair Sucks

So I hate Chrysler officially. I have had so many problems with them that it is not even worth the effort to mention all of them but basically it comes down to this:

I had to have my car towed in to the dealership because I had something faulty in the engine. They "repaired" it. They didn't. Had to have it towed in again. Actually repaired it this time. Had to have it towed in one more time because some jackass forgot to tighten the damn part he put in so it kept short circuiting the engine. That was about 4 years ago.

Kept having problems with the alignment so brought it in to a dealership near us in Tooele. Well when I got the car back it was worse than it was when I brought it in the first time and the people there made it seem like my fault. I eventually got it fixed at a Les Schwab tire place (awesome by the way). Have since refused to bring it back to the Tooele dealership because they suck.

Well my car was leaking something nasty so I brought it into the dealership in Salt Lake City. They "fixed" it for $1700. Never stopped leaking. Brought it in again. They said it was residue built up that was leaking down so they cleaned it up and said it was good to go. Never stopped leaking. Brought it back they said this time it was something NEW. So payed $300 more. And it STILL HAVE NEVER STOPPED LEAKING. So I gave up with them, went with store bought leak stuff. Might have worked, not sure.

But then my Speedometer stops working, right when I am about to go out of town. So I find a mechanic in Tooele since Chrysler only hires incompetent mechanics. They take 3 days to realize they can't fix it because only a dealer can reprogram the computer or something like that. Crap, have to bring it back there.

Well I bring it back in telling them I need it by Friday morning because I have to go out of town. I also mentioned the leak, not to mention the AC failed and the gas gage was acting wonky. Well, after I called they aren't even going to look at it until Friday. Son of a BITCH. If I didn't have to bring it to them they would be lucky if they ever get my service again.

Monday, June 21, 2010

The 306 Greatest Books #91 - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

The next up on my reading of the 306 greatest books is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald DahlThis book can be found on the BBC and My Book Lists.



Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is so far my favorite of Dahl's works, and likely to remain that way. I had grown up on Charlie, having seen the original movie countless of times and I actually believe I read the book growing up too, although I couldn't remember any of it. Unlike Dahl's other works, which seemed scattered and more like many mini stories with a common theme, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was a cohesive story with great characterization and a fun read. It was also interesting to compare the two movie versions of the book with the book. Despite my love of the original movie it appears that both of the movies had parts that followed the story very closely and both had parts that diverged from the story a lot, however they were often in different places. Overall, a fun, cohesive story, that is a definite must read on my list.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

2010 Personal Goals Update - June

5 months in, and on time.

1. Finish first draft of my novel -
January 1st - 1st third done
February 1st - Nothing new
March 1st - Nothing
April 1st - Nothing
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing

2. Drop weight to 167
January 1st - 175.0
February 1st - 176.0
March 1st - 176.0
April 1st - 176.6
May 1st - 176.6
June 1st - 169.2 - Apparently walking around with Gummy Bear non-stop is a good weight loss plan.

3. Balance our budget
January 1st - Things are looking up for this year
February 1st - Working over the winter break helped, a $1700 car repair bill did not

March 1st - Going the wrong way, another car bill as well as a new carpet and apparently I owe on my taxes, great.
April 1st - Working out those extra expenses a little bit at a time
May 1st - Still working it out
June 1st - Getting closer

a. Pay credit card
January 1st - Only one card left
February 1st - Still one card left
March 1st - Still on to go
April 1st - Still working on the one
May 1st - One
June 1st - One

4. Read a total of 100 of the greatest books on my lists
January 1st - Current count 86
February 1st - In the middle of Cantebury Tales
March 1st - Took a break from Cantebury Tales, time to get back
April 1st - Finished Cantebury Tales. 13 left to go. Reading Madame Bovary now
May 1st - Finished Madame Bovary. 12 left to go. Reading The Maltese Falcon now
June 1st - Finished The Maltese Falcon and The Twits. 10 left to go. Reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory now

5. Finish 2 more movies on my Geological Movie Review
January 1st - Look to start 2 new movies
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st -Nothing

a. Also update the last two I did
January 1st - One out of 3 up to par
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing
June 1st - Nothing

Other items of interest:
Nothing much going on now. Mostly taking care of Gummy Bear and teaching my class. Figuring out 90 minute lectures is more than I am used to so it takes a little bit of work. And I start back at URS part time for the summer. Hopefully I can get some research done too.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

And the winner is????

So recently we (my wife and I) had an online contest where you could vote for when our child will be born, the sex (since we didn't know), the length, and the weight. Well since Gummy Bear is here we have proclaimed a winner, our friend Jen. And in honor or her winning the contest, she gets one of the coolest things I found on the web, a GIANT GUMMY BEAR. The picture above is real. The 5 pound gummy bear is about half the size of our child. I love it. I wanted so bad to keep a portion of it for myself (it smelled soooo good) but I refrained and it has been sent along to the winner. Enjoy :-)

The 306 Greatest Books #90 - The Twits

The next up on my reading of the 306 greatest books is The Twits by Roald Dahl. This book can be found on the BBC Book list.



The Twits was a rather interesting book, as I've come expect from Dahl. The story follows a married couple who are the most despicable, ugly people you could ever imagine. The things that they do eventually get them into trouble, where they eventually get their just desserts in the end from the trouble they cause. Although Dahl can be a bit gruesome at times, he does go out of his way to never fully describe the gruesome act, just imply it. So, I think this could be a nice book for children to read since it starts off with a very good lesson; that if you continually have ugly thoughts you turn into an ugly person but if you continually have good thoughts you turn into a good looking person, no matter what your outward appearance may be. Overall, not a fantastic book, but it is fun and short, and it is the first book on the list that I read to my daughter.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

The 306 Greatest Books #89 - The Maltese Falcon

The next up on my reading of the 306 greatest books is The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett. This book can be found on the Sybervision and My Book Lists.



I know that the movie was based off of the book but it had been so long ago since I saw the movie that I don't remember any of the plot points. This was good because it didn't end up ruining any of the book for me. The movie, and a lot of similar rip-off movies, have the same motif, they contain this old detective feel; a black and white movie with the main detective doing a voice-over for much of the movie. That was exactly how this book read. It was like Humphrey Bogart was reading the book aloud to me in my head. I really enjoyed it though. It was different from most of the other books I have read and it was a constant page turner where you must know what was going to happen next. The story was not too complicated, your basic murder mystery plot, a who done it and why sort of ordeal. Overall, it was a quick and easy read and I feel that everyone should read this if they are in the mood for an good old time detective story.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Personal Goals Update - May

4 months in, really late. But I have good reason this time :-).

1. Finish first draft of my novel -
January 1st - 1st third done
February 1st - Nothing new
March 1st - Nothing
April 1st - Nothing
May 1st - Nothing

2. Drop weight to 167
January 1st - 175.0
February 1st - 176.0
March 1st - 176.0
April 1st - 176.6
May 1st - 176.6

3. Balance our budget
January 1st - Things are looking up for this year
February 1st - Working over the winter break helped, a $1700 car repair bill did not

March 1st - Going the wrong way, another car bill as well as a new carpet and apparently I owe on my taxes, great.
April 1st - Working out those extra expenses a little bit at a time
May 1st - Still working it out

a. Pay credit card
January 1st - Only one card left
February 1st - Still one card left
March 1st - Still on to go
April 1st - Still working on the one
May 1st - One

4. Read a total of 100 of the greatest books on my lists
January 1st - Current count 86
February 1st - In the middle of Cantebury Tales
March 1st - Took a break from Cantebury Tales, time to get back
April 1st - Finished Cantebury Tales. 13 left to go. Reading Madame Bovary now
May 1st - Finished Madame Bovary. 12 left to go. Reading The Maltese Falcon now

5. Finish 2 more movies on my Geological Movie Review
January 1st - Look to start 2 new movies
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing

a. Also update the last two I did
January 1st - One out of 3 up to par
February 1st - Nothing done on this
March 1st - Nothing done
April 1st - Nothing done
May 1st - Nothing

Other items of interest:
School is done for the semester. Got a 4.0 :-). Also had myself a kid and she is precious. A pain in the butt and a diva but still precious. I am also teaching my first real class this summer semester. Not a TA but an actual instructor this time. All in all, things are busy but mostly good.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Introducing the Gummy Bear

Introducing......

Born April 30th, 2010

Weighing in at a whopping 9lbs 6oz and 21.25 inches in length

She is definitely the pride and joy of her parents. The last few weeks have been rather stressful for us since there are some health issues (and will be in the future) but as of today she is doing wonderfully. And now some pictures.


Daddy is exhausted shortly after Gummy Bear comes into the world.


Just after her first bath, she loves a good head rub, just like her mommy.


Daddy holding his little Gummy Bear.


And this awesome picture was taken by her grandfather. Just perfect :-).


Dresses up in her going home DINO outfit :-D. Veronica insisted so I just couldn't say no. I mean we searched everywhere for a hat for her as well (even though it turns out she's got a big head and most hats don't fit her very well).



And Finally a copy of the birth announcement that was sent out.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The 306 Greatest Books #88 - Madame Bovary

The next up on my reading of the 306 greatest books is Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert. This book can be found on the SybervisionNorwegian, ObserverZane's Top 10and My Book Lists. 



The first thing I noticed while reading Madame Bovary was how well is flowed. One idea flowed into another, most of it without a break or pause. Seemingly unconnected thoughts were put together seamlessly in a string of narrative that I could only hope to replicate. I loved reading this book, especially after The Canterbury Tales, since the language was so much easier to follow and I'm not trying to decipher what the author is saying, I'm just enjoying the words. I did have some problems with the book though. The first being the very weak female characters, especially the main character. She seemed mostly to be reacting to events in her life and not being proactive in any of her choices. Nothing she did was really in response to what she wanted and more in response to what someone else wanted. And her child was the most useless of characters, almost inconsequential for 99% of the story. So, even though it did have some weak points, it was a marvelously written story and I would definitely recommend this as a must read.